Voices from My Bunker 2020: Seat in Reality Ballpark with only Cut-Outs of Friends & Family.

The Reality Ballpark is a phrase I first used 10 years ago to describe how I began trying to maintain a weight loss. I needed to take a seat in the Reality Ballpark each day by stepping on the scale. It has been a winning strategy but now, in 2020, I am using this phrase in an entirely new way. I've been able to manage my weight these past 10 years but today am trying to manage risk by remaining in my seat. It is a formidable challenge.

One way of understanding this challenge is: As the last ferry leaves the harbor with most of my friends and family, I am sitting in The Reality Ballpark with their cut-outs. What in hell?

This week I interview myself as that is what it has come to: I talk to myself these days. Click on white arrow in lower left hand corner to listen. And, PS. Only fools represent themselves in court and interview themselves.

PS. I designed a fabric that used all the symbols cartoonists use to indicate one of their characters is swearing. It is called “Grawlix”. I used this pattern to produce small accessory bags or a large beach bag available in my Etsy store. Instead of a swear jar, you can carry your bag around with you and let the bag do your commentary on life, diets, pandemics, politics (!!) in 2020. You can click on the images to go to my new store.

It's a perfect signature product for me for those of you who know me: if there were awards for creative swear chains, I'd at least be nominated. Check it out.

Curses Bag
An accessory bag to hold your swears and curses in 2020
Large Weekender Tote

That Man Has a Serious Weight Problem. Podsnacks Art of the Diet -169

“That Man Has a Serious Weight Problem”.  A quote from the current President of the United States about a man with a loud voice in his NH campaign rally in August, 2019. He (POTUS) thought the man was protesting rather than adoring his presence.  Man was ejected but turns out wasn’t protesting but lovin’ his man.  What this story and another August example endured by Roxanne Gay tells us about our culture of acceptance for body shaming by men and women who know better but can't seem (or want) to do better. Weight Management issues, though, can be managed in spite of their existence.

Listen Here.

This past month I made mini-notebooks from some of the fabric and paper I've designed for how I feel with each news alert. My sewing teacher is making a tie for her husband from the “fuckit” fabric to wear on “Casual Fridays”. I keep several of these notebooks in my bag just in case I am at a loss for words. Ok. That doesn't happen too often.

Chaos Cloth and Paper Mini Notebooks


Body Acceptance. Not so fast, Josephine.


I sometimes walk at the Y with a funny charming and totally outgoing woman in mid-late seventies who is the town crier.  Knows everyone. Says hello to everyone. Knows her fair share of physical pain from a car accident early in her life but talks not one minute about it.

She recently had emergency surgery and said when the doctors were poking and prodding she kept saying, while wincing in pain, “O, Josephine!”

Afterwards, the doctor asked her, “Who exactly is Josephine?”

She laughed and said no one in particular but just someone she was taught to call on if pain was too sharp.

I came across this CBC interview of a debut novel by Mona Awad, called, “13 Ways of Looking at a Fat Girl”.  Her title was based on a poem by Wallace Stevens called, “13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird.”

Here's the audio of this short interview.

After listening to it, I simply said, “O, Josephine!”