One habit has saved this week from being a repeat of last week which was a week when my evil twin seemed to be talking non-stop and just making food choices for two, I decided to change just one thing. Stop grazing and return to eating 3 meals, 2 snacks a day.
Nothing consumed in-between except liquids. It was added to my non-negotiable list which only has one item on it: weighing myself every Tuesday morning. I can't overburden the non-negotiable list as I tend to start negotiating with mulitiple items on the non-negotiable list.
Drawing boundaries and respecting them is exactly what helps me return to control. It's not the food choices, although by doing this method I seemed to naturally make better choices, it was simply committing to an external habit for seven days and letting that create a gravitional pull of other good habits.
Just knowing that there was brake applied after each meal and snack freed me up to devote mental space to other projects. And, it also delivers a feeling of ‘relief” that is undeniable.
I hate sensing that control is eroding and having to plug holes in the dike every day. It's exhausting to be out of control. No one talks about that element, but I, for one, seem to expend less energy being centered and following a path than each day ignoring traditional navigational tools and making up my own constellations.
Imagine if a sea captain had to figure out each morning where North was? He couldn't rely on its location being the same every day? It sounds dramatic but that's what it feels like to have a chronic problem that at times undermines your logic and discipline. It needs daily external strategies.
When my strategies and boundaries weaken, the stars in the heavens seem to change positions as well and a bit of chaos threatens.
Changing/counting foods or ratios or points are not helpful at this verge of chaos moments, but committing to a single habit for 7 days seems to bring me back into orbit.
I looked out the window that faces north this morning.
The stars and still life have aligned for now.